


I Do Adore (England x Reader)

by ronnie_99



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: England x Reader - Freeform, F/M, britainxreader, englandxreader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-02-22 11:10:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13165689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronnie_99/pseuds/ronnie_99
Summary: [Name] has been crushing on the sweet and smart Arthur Kirkland since her first week at W Academy. However, her fear over being rejected leads to numerous miscommunications. On the other hand, her prince may not be as perfect as he seems . . .





	1. The Girl

**Author's Note:**

> I dedicate this Hetalia reader insert to a new member of this pasta-loving, tomato-throwing, battleshipping community. A close friend and fellow mourner during these last few weeks of November.
> 
> Bon appetite, Mich.
> 
> Welcome to hell.

Gathering all her hair over one shoulder, she set a stack of workload on the empty seat next to her. It was ten a.m. and most of her classmates had gone out for the usual early lunch but she needed to finish tallying the questionnaires for her group’s research study.

It wasn’t until half an hour later did her stomach start to make a fuss. But when she reached inside her backpack she didn’t feel _it_ inside. She grasped both straps of tightly and hauled the bag onto her lap. She rummaged through the loose pens and crumpled paper but didn’t find the Tupperware. She forgot her lunch.

“[Name]” Ronnie stepped inside the room sipping on a java chip frappe. She stuck her thumb over her shoulder, gesturing towards the door. With a big grin on her face, Ronnie announced: “He’s here”

[Name]’s pale cheeks rosied with adrenaline. _Again?_ She thought to herself. Lately, Arthur’s been visiting the class more often than he should. Not that she was complaining, but seniors seldom went downstairs because it’s been made known that as groups, W Academy students of different years never got along. Freshmen were rowdy, sophomores were know-it-alls, juniors were lackadaisical, and seniors were snobs. But Arthur wasn’t. Arthur was Arthur. He was sweet and polite despite what the others said about him.

“Sorry for intruding. Good morning.” He greeted the room with a bow of his head. But then he frowned at Ronnie “Starbucks again? You’re going to suffer palpitations”

“I like palpitations” She retorted flatly “they make me feel alive.”

“Keep at it and you won’t be alive much longer.”

She rolled her eyes and went for her seat, sticking her earplugs in as a subtle way of telling people to leave her alone.

Arthur sighed and [Name] bit her lip to stop herself from squealing. She’s known him for only seven weeks but the very mention of his name was enough for the butterflies to start a raging cyclone in her stomach.

“Hey, [Name]” All irk from his encounter with her classmate had vanished and he now gently smiled at her “It’s a last minute decision but we’re going to postpone this afternoon’s meeting so you don’t have to come to the club room later”

Last minute, she repeated in her head, and then she wondered rather guiltily if he came here just to tell her that in person. Guiltily because the thought of Arthur going out of his way for something so trivial—and for her sake—was a thought so . . . arrogant. But if that was the case then she was thrilled.  

“I didn’t know that” She managed not to stutter with her reply this time (yes!) “Thanks for telling me” She folded her arms in front of her and stared at her shoes, “but you know you didn’t have to go through all this trouble, coming to my room like this. I did give you my phone number” She had reread his text messages so many times that his phone number* had basically been engraved in her cerebral cortex. She felt like a stalker in the rise, but a teenage girl in love shouldn’t be underestimated. In an attempt to soothe the Superego part in her psyche, she reassured herself that many girls were the same. Yeah.

“That’s true.” He nodded and her body clenched at his quick and cold agreement. Ouch. “Actually, my battery died because a certain frog used it to take selfies” His warm expression faltered and made a face like he just bit into a hard candy made of vinegar.

[Name] giggled and pulled on the purple sleeves of her Ichimatsu hoodie, contemplating what to say next.

“But you know” When she turned to face him she almost fainted, his eyes were so beautifully green, a rainforest. One that she could easily get lost in “it’s a good excuse to see you.”

[Name] almost grasped for her shirt, her heart was now a jackhammer.

“Pfft. Think you’re Prince Charming, Mr. Prez?” Another 4-A student, Jason Jones chuckled as he slid inside the room. Dark hair, dark jacket and a dark humor to match. On the surface he was Arthur’s opposite.

Arthur gave him a pointed look “You seem to have a lot of free time.”

“I’m taking a break and for your information, I do pretty much all the work for my group projects”

“That’s not something to brag. You’re the group leader, it’s your responsibility to—“

“Yeah, yeah. But the job is getting done and it’s getting done well so get off my back. Besides I didn’t come here for you” Jason stuffed his hands in his jacket and strolled towards Ronnie and snatched her tablet from her, forcing her to remove her earplugs. He held the iPad away from her hand,  “Starbucks again?”

“Shut up”

With a second exasperated sigh, Arthur caught two blonde strands on his forehead and twirled them between his fingers. He had a habit of touching his hair when he was annoyed or thinking. Ronnie and Laura had noticed the particular quirk too, so [Name] managed to convince herself that noticing such little details weren’t a big deal.

She then quietly made a list one by one the details she could never forget about him.

1) He always wears his complete uniform even when it’s too hot—in fact his wardrobe is usually polo shirts and Oxfords.

2) He never curses regardless of how mad or shocked or irked he is.

A low grumbling disturbed her thoughts and [Name]’s arms flew over her lower torso, her cheeks flared with embarrassment. Her body had such bad timing. She couldn’t think of any other time to wish for a miracle—like for the earth to open and swallow her so she didn’t have to face him ever again.

But when she snuck a glance, Arthur simply offered a kind smile.

“Oh, sorry. Seems like I got in the way of your lunch time.”

3) He’s a gentleman who never teases.

“Actually, no. I forgot my lunch bag and I haven’t eaten” Since breakfast. [Name] stayed up too late looking at _Haikyuu!!_ fan art and woke up with barely enough time for a two-minute shower.

Arthur adjusted his tie “I actually just finished a meeting with the newspaper club. After telling you I planned to go straight to the cafeteria.”

Her heart dropped with disappointment. Regret nipped at her chest. “I can’t” She grumbled more than she should’ve, it was unladylike to whine. The last she wanted was to give Arthur that kind of impression of herself, so she coughed and straightened her spine before continuing, “I’m actually saving cash for . . . “ She stopped and wondered. Could she admit to him that she was starving herself because of an anime convention? What would he think?

She finally decided and said: “I’m saving for this very important event next week.” It was so frustrating to be a girl.

Lines formed between his brows “Well, you can’t _not_ eat.”

4) He was a sweetheart. “I’ll treat you. Please, I insist”

[Name] felt her jaw click. A chance to eat with Arthur Kirkland? _Hell, yeah!_

“Okay!” She cleared her throat “B-but I will be paying you back, I promise.”

He tilted his head, and then chuckled, “Whatever you say, love.”

5) He had the sexiest accent. And she loved it when he called her “love”.

Right now her knees were jelly, but she forced herself to stay strong in front of him. Two humiliations were enough for today.

As they walked side by side towards the cafeteria, [Name] couldn’t resist leaning in a little closer, feeling unrightfully territorial with him when they passed other juniors.

6) He smelled faintly of old books in a rose garden.

She pictured him reading and having tea under the school gazebo, surrounded by blooming roses. A prince who only ever existed in her middle school mind and in manga, someone who shouldn’t be alive but was with her right now. He was too perfect to be real. Almost like a dream.

“[Name]?” They’ve stopped walking. [Name] blinked and realized that they were already in the cafeteria. There were only three to five people in line.

“Sorry” She blushed again.  Dammit, she should’ve asked someone to come with her, to serve as a mediator during inevitable pauses of awkwardness, but that would’ve been rude since Arthur invited her. Plus to be honest, she wanted him all to herself, even if just for fifteen minutes. Even if just while waiting in line.

“Takeout or dine in?” Lunch-lady Belinda asked with that rough, masculine voice of hers.

“Dine in” Arthur answered before [Name] could open her mouth. She glanced at him wide-eyed. Her lunch break lasted for one and a half hours, Arthur only had until eleven a.m.

He didn’t say anything until they found a vacant table by the windows.

“I’m actually breaking the rules” He picked up the plastic fork and knife and began cutting his open-faced sandwich “Students aren’t normally allowed to leave the classroom even when the teacher is absent but I didn’t have any free time after this so I lied to the hall monitor. Told her my meeting with the newspaper club was going to last until eleven.”

[Name] giggled at his idea of breaking the rules. Technically, yes it was, but she and her other classmates have done worse.

“So how is school for you juniors?” Fifty percent of the juniors and sophomores were transferees. Not everyone could deal with W Academy standards and left midway, but at the same time there were a lot of people signing up.

“So far so good. I’m handling all the subjects pretty well.” Lies. Complete and utter lies. Projects, case studies, one test after the other, more work than she could handle in just one night. She was never _not_ on the verge of a mental breakdown. But Arthur didn’t need to know that, he just needed to see the smiling, happy [Name]. No one wanted to see the sad parts of a person.

Arthur regarded her coolly and silently. She avoided his stare courtesy of her empty stomach and the mouth-watering plate of _siomai_ he bought for her.

“ . . . [Name]”

She put down her spoon.

“You know—“ But before Arthur could continue, three faces popped up behind him.

“What are you doing here, President?” The albino asked.

“It’s past the time for lunch, you naughty boy” Teased the guy with stubbles, he appeared to be in his twenties but wore the male uniform.

“Ah, and who is this lovely young woman beside you?”

 _What flirts,_ [Name] thought, but at the same time their tones were friendly.

“Right back at you all” Arthur said with a voice of authority “Elizabeta gave me a pass because I had a meeting. What’s your excuse?”

Albino and Stubbles exchanged mischievous glances “We had our own important meeting. It’s about that singer rumored to be in town.”

“If you have time to dilly-dally then go help finish the Christmas party decorations”

But they ignored him and soon Stubbles was sitting next to Arthur, leaning on the table with his chin on his palm as he spoke to [Name] “Bonjour, mademoiselle. Maybe you’ve heard of him?”

[Name] fisted her hands on her lap, she couldn’t handle strangers well, much less handsome male strangers. “Him?”

“You know, Aiden Jackson. Every girl is apparently obsessed with him.” He was too close!

“Um, I-I don’t really . . . “ She has heard of the name but never really bothered to look him up. All she knew was that he was a musical prodigy who wore black leather and popular with both sexes. There were also rumors of him being a drug addict and womanizer.

Stubbles’ face kept inching closer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ronnie: Meeee
> 
> *Jason: 2P!America (If you're a new reader of mine then you should know that telling me my man's name is "Allen" is one way to piss me off. The 2Ps don't have official human names.)
> 
> *Laura: Belgium


	2. The Prince

Arthur rolled a magazine, ready to hit Francis, but he remembered that they weren’t alone and opted to grab his former childhood friend’s collar. “You’re making her uncomfortable” He wanted to add _wanker_ at the end of that sentence, but he bit his tongue as he didn’t want to curse in front of a junior. Especially not in front of her.

Speaking of, [Name]’s entire face was tomato-red, two shades darker than the pink it was before these three twat-faced twats came. Not even hesitating, Arthur hauled Francis away from the table and away from [Name].

The frog raised both arms in defence. “It’s always a pleasure to see a girl all cute and flustered. You’re just jealous because _you_ can’t give the same effect”

The hell he can’t, Arthur thought smugly.

“We happen to have tickets to Aiden Jackson’s concert next week. Interested, princesa?” Antonio’s smiles were always genuine, and they never failed to melt the hearts of every young lady.

“It’s been a while since we’ve gone out to do something fun, no thanks to all those boring makeup sessions courtesy of the teacher’s pet here.” Gilbert jutted a finger in Arthur’s direction “But for a cutie like you, we don’t mind giving away our tickets. Go with your friends.”

“Or maybe even with your lover.” Francis suggested, not so subtly poking at Arthur’s berserk button by messing with [Name]. “What’s with that face?” Francis scrutinized her folding form with playful eyes “Don’t tell me you’re single? An adorable girl like you?”

“What’s your name, darling?”

“[Name]” She whispered, unable to look him in the eye. Arthur’s chest squeezed with jealousy and annoyance. [Name] only ever had that kind of reaction with him. Now this little shit was

“[Name]” Francis repeated, making a point to emphasize each syllable. He slid his elbow back on the table “Can I court you then?” He whispered huskily.

[Name]’s shoulders scrunched with embarrassment at the shameless flirtation. The frog was taking this too far.

Arthur knew exactly what he was doing. The cheese eater was trying to piss him off by attacking [Name]. (Attack might be a strong word but at this moment, Arthur couldn’t think of a better term)

Everybody in his class knew that something was off when the Oh-so Perfect Prince of W.A. started spacing out during discussions and taking way too many toilet breaks. Even that bloody nitwit Alfred picked up on Arthur’s attempts to meet with Class 3-6 as many times as possible.

However, no one ever actually pinpointed the person of interest until these three little turds came and ruined their private time. He even lied about having a vacant period. Mrs. Zbornak should be upstairs right now, beginning the period with questions about the alleged parallelism between _Twilight_ and _Pride and Prejudice_. Arthur adored literature, and he admired his English teacher, but he has read every book in the syllabus. A few minutes of tardiness wouldn’t hurt. Maybe it would, but he no longer cared for his father’s reactions to a speck on his perfect attendance.

When Francis leaned a little closer, to the obvious uneasiness of his junior, Arthur stopped resisting his protective instincts. He grabbed Francis’ arm and flipped him over.

[Name]’s fingers flew over her mouth, muffling her gasp. Arthur felt guilty for subjecting her to this kind of behavior, but she had nothing to worry about; Arthur had trained in aikido with Francis as children.

The frog rolled and got back on his feet in no time.

“I was just asking. It’s not like you’re interested.” Francis’ voice was sweet and it made Arthur’s skin crawl.

“That doesn’t mean I’ll let you harass her” What he really wanted to say was: _“Bugger off, you sleazy, snail-slurping, STD-carrying piece of Parisian dog turd”_ It was how he and Francis spoke in private settings, but they were in public and he didn’t want to give [Name] a heart attack.

“Excuse us” Arthur fixed his tie, giving [Name] a cold, tight smile “My appetite’s been ruined. I’ll be taking these three back with me to our classroom so I won’t be able to walk you back to yours.”

[Name] waved her hands “Oh, it’s fine, really. Don’t worry about it.”

He nodded and then glowered at the other boys “Quit your dallying and let’s get a move on now.”

She ran a hand up and down her arm, a nervous habit of hers, “Bye . . . ”

“You didn’t have to be so cold” The three idiots burst into hearty chuckles the moment they exited the canteen. Gilbert rang an arm around Arthur’s shoulders. “Who would have thought the great prince would fall for his lowerclassman. You should’ve seen the faces you made. Not that I blame you”

“She is adorable. I’d congratulate you but it’s clear you’re never going to get her” added Francis, who then saw Arthur’s glare and proceeded to explain, his voice turning serious for once “Face it, Arthur. She’s a sweet girl from the looks of it, and smart too to get your attention, but Uncle would never let this crush morph into anything more. I doubt she’s from any notable families”

“She obviously likes you, but don’t go making her feel like she will ever have a chance by buying her lunch and giving her special attention. Stop before the both of you get hurt.”

Gilbert tore himself from Arthur and the three of them went ahead. Arthur stayed in the hall to process what Francis just said. He was right. Father would never approve, not unless [Name] was the daughter of a wealthy businessman, which she wasn’t.

But . . .

A smile found its way to his lips.

Who gave a damn about his father?

 His phone vibrated from his breast pocket and Arthur picked up immediately, “Kirkland speaking.” He sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’ll start practice right after school.”

“Good. Don’t strain yourself too much at school. Save your voice and get enough rest before you head to studio, okay?”

“No problem”

“Is everything all right, Arthur, honey?”

“Don’t call me honey. This is a business line, you’re my manager. Not my mother.”

“But I am both, and I know you well enough to sense something wrong with your mood, now tell mummy what’s the matter”

“Bloody . . . ” Deep breaths. Calm. “I’ve classes to go to.”

“So we’ll talk later then? Don’t eat dinner alone, let’s go to Goodman’s café together. It’s been a while.”

Arthur’s parents divorced three years ago, and he didn’t always get to eat properly with the parent he preferred.

“All right, mum. I’ll see you then.”

“Likewise, love. But are you coming as yourself?”

The best thing about his mother was that she didn’t force the music lover inside him to hide. She was the one who let him learn the guitar, ultimately ending her relationship with. However, she was glad to be freed from Arthur’s father—it had always been an unhappy marriage. She still secretly had her friend teach Arthur music, and now here they were, closer than ever.

He thought about it for a while. Then he smirked “Nah. _Aiden_ will be meeting with you.”

*******

The best thing about Aiden Jackson was that Arthur didn’t have to be Arthur. He didn’t have to be the perfect prince who never cursed, who always stood straight, who knew which spoon to use. It was almost ironic how Arthur can be more himself under a fake identity.

Aiden walked into Goodman’s Diner wearing a black cap and a black hoodie—clothes Arthur Kirkland would never wear.

“Why make things complicated?” His mum pushed the plate of bangers and mash towards him “As Aiden you can’t walk around in public without hiding your face”

He took off his sunglasses, “It’s better this way. Besides, it’s a small town.” The gossipy hens of Easthallow would be more interested in a Kirkland son than some rock star. Chances were the folks would recognize Arthur more than Aiden.

“Whatever you say” She shrugged.

She leaned in over the table, her cheeks between her hands “How’s school, love? Still at the top? Any juicy secrets to share with your mother?” Arthur’s mum didn’t resemble him one bit. Her eyes were a soft blue and her fiery red hair, never properly tamed, had been passed on to the eldest Kirkland son, Alistair.

“Well, I stepped down from my role as fencing captain.” Arthur decided to go for soccer since it was his last year at W.A.

“Oooh, does your grouch of a father knows?”

He snorted “He doesn’t know anything”

“What a surprise. I bet Allen hasn’t been home for a month.”

Arthur did nothing to correct her. His mum laughed and tapped the table with her orange-red nails. She’d always been too “wild” for Mr. Allen Kirkland. Wild in this context meant that she was a free spirit who wore blue during funerals because she didn’t believe in mourning the dead but celebrating the living. The conservative Kirklands never did like her. She wasn’t nobility, but her father was a famous jazz player and her mother owned a large music company.

“I’ve nothing interesting to share” Arthur ripped two paper napkins from the dispenser and wiped his knife and fork.

“Mhm . . . You’re almost eighteen and you’re telling me nothing remotely interesting has happened or is happening?”

He had a certain someone in mind, but he didn’t want his mum to butt in on his nonexistent love life. Arthur crumpled the used napkins and tossed them aside “Not a thing”

She inhaled and then let out a long, exaggerated sigh of disappointment “You’re a rock star with a double life and your mother has had more action than you.”

He started cutting the sausages “Keep those stories to yourself” He didn’t care if she was out there, hell, he was happy for her. But no son wants to listen to his mum rant about her latest lover.

“I meant travelling. Geez, you really are just a teenager. That reminds me” She dug inside her rattan purse, then she swung a paper bag towards him. “I got you what Filipinos call a _‘pasalubong.’_ Actually, I got you a lot. There are key chains and snacks and other thingamabobs. _”_

He tried not to let his giddiness show and with great effort managed not to grin too widely when he looked inside the doggy bag. Aside from the music, Arthur shared his mother’s wanderlust. Once he graduated high school he wanted to see the world—his producer had been pestering him to do a tour anyway.

“I went to Manila, Vigan, Cebu, Baler—you would’ve loved them all. I danced, I ate, I drank. When you’re finally out of that house I’m taking you with me everywhere.”

Then she broke out into painful detail about her adventures in the Southeast; how she played Tzigane on the violin for the UST orchestra, how she lost her bikini while surfing (who surfs in a bikini? His mother apparently) in Sabang, how she learned to weave _buri_ leaves into a mat while in Sulu.

“And you need to try the _siopao_ and the _fishballs_ and—”

Arthur wiped the corner of his lips, his dish now licked clean. Half an hour had passed and she still wasn’t done. He stood and excused himself for the toilet.

“Earl Grey?” As if she had to asked. They always had tea after a meal.

“Ye—”

The diner bell rang and two girls and a boy walked inside giggling. Arthur did a double take.

“Crap!”

“Easy on the language, I’m still your mother” But her tone was lighthearted.

No, no! He dove back to his seat and pulled the hoodie lower over his face.

His mother tilted her head “What on earth’s gotten into you?”  

The girls passed by their table.

“Did you watch last night’s episode?”

“Yeah. While I was waiting for someone to post the answer to the physics assignment”

“[Name], you’ve been pretty quiet today.”

“I wonder if—”

“No, no, no!” Arthur snuck a glance and saw [Name] stick her hands over her friend’s mouth “Let’s not talk about it.”

The others burst out laughing and they eventually disappeared to the back of the room.

After a long pause on both their ends, his mum finally spoke up “Young man, you better explain yourself.”

“It’s . . . it’s that girl.”

“No kidding. Are they crazy fans or something? Stalkers?”

“No they’re not fans or stalkers”

“Then who are they?” Arthur didn’t reply. He dug himself in his seat as warmth spread throughout his body and up his neck. His mother, ever so sharp, pieced the clues together and gave him a smile that screamed “Ah-ha!”

“Now’s not the time. I need to leave.”

“Why not? You need to introduce your girlfriend to your mother, it’s only natural. Now which one is she? Maybe I should just call all of them. ”

Arthur shh-ed his mother with praying hands “Please don’t. She’s not my girlfriend, she’s a junior at my school and she only knows Arthur, not Aiden.”

“Aiden’s an expert with the ladies so what’s the big deal?”

“She’s been through enough shameless men hitting on her for the day.”

“You sound like a protective older brother.” Her nose folded “Ew.”

“I’m leaving—oh” Arthur froze. A girl stood bent over before him, one hand reached for the floor while the other rubbed her nose.

“So sorry” [Name] mumbled.

“It’s fine. Here” He frantically knelt down to get her handkerchief, but as he rose they bumped heads together. Arthur tumbled back, his hoodie fell on his shoulders and his shades dropped on the floor.

“Oh my God!” The boy [Name] came with started squealing.

Oh, bullocks.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Francis: France  
> *Gilbert: Prussia  
> *Antonio: Spain  
> *Alistair: fanon human name for Scotland  
> *Allen: my human name for the Kirkland boys’ father (WAHAHAHAHA)
> 
> Author’s note: I’ve been lagging lately so I’m reading Twilight in addition to Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Vendetta, and Jane Eyre. I’ve been out of it because of school (FREAKING PETAs) so I need to get back in the game. Anyway, apparently Twilight was inspired by Pride and Prejudice, which I adore. I’m going to try and not let those numerous, numerous, NUMEROUS negative reviews get in the way of my own opinion as I read this book.
> 
> If you guys have any thoughts about this story (this xReader), this part, or this writing style, know that I am always open to constructive criticism. Well, you’re also free to tell me it sucks but don’t think I’ll care, because let’s face it, I’m awesome (Does a Prussia pose!). I hope you guys enjoyed this part. Leave a comment, heart, follow, whatever.


	3. The Girl

The red-haired stranger wasted no time; he threw his hoodie back on as he broke into a sprint outside the diner. Everyone was staring now. [Name] clasped her hands together and hung her head, wanting to be as little as possible. However, Feliks dashed towards her, fingers on her shoulder "Holy shit, girl. Do you have any idea who that was?"

She shook her head, though he did look a bit familiar. 

"That was Aiden Jackson, genius rock star. Jeezus, did you hear his accent? Holy fuck!" Feliks' fists tightened hard on her shoulders so much [Name] was sure there would be marks. "I can't believe we didn't notice it was him."

"But now Feliks chased him away and we didn't get the chance to get his autograph" Laura pinched his arm. Feliks laughed.

"So I guess it's true about his concert here. Otherwise what would he be doing in this town?" 

"It's true" 

The girls turned to the pretty lady by the table. She had a more natural shade of red hair than the boy that ran away, and her eyes were a lovely cornflower blue. She had an accent as well.

"Hello there" She gave them a crooked smile. After a clumsy introduction on [Name] and the others' part, the lady asked them to seat. 

"Wow, so you're Aiden's manager?" 

A waiter came and handed everyone her dessert. A tall vanilla sundae for Laura, red velvet crinkles for Feliks, and a blueberry scone for [Name]. 

"Yup" Ms. Abigail squeezed the teabag and left it on the side of her saucer "I'm something of a mother to him too"

"Are his parents dead?" 

She waved her hand "No, no. More like, I'm close to his mother. Very close. But his father . . . let's not talk about him"

"I didn't expect to meet him in such a random place" said Feliks "And [Name] even bumped into him head to head. It's like something straight out of a Korean drama!" 

[Name] reached for her nape and looked away while her friends laughed. 

"But it's a little unfair. You're not even a fan and you managed to get so close" Feliks nudged her with an elbow. 

"You all seem close. Do you mind me asking how old are you girls? It may sound rude but we're all ladies here" Ms. Abigail chuckled. She had this warm laugh that made it difficult not to join her.

"Around sixteen to seventeen" [Name] answered as she began to let her guard down.

They talked about life at W Academy for a while, but then it turned into a conversation surrounding Ms. Abigail's love for music and travel, and of course, for her "son."

"He keeps quiet around other people but really lets loose when we're together, it's cute but I'm a little worried"

"How so?"

"You see, he's a special kid, that Aiden. He's good at everything he puts his mind to, but he tends to hide it when he's in pain." Ms. Abigail twisted her mug between her fingers "I'm worried that one day he'll implode"

The table fell into uncomfortable silence. How did their night turn so somber? But [Name] thought of Aiden, seeing a bit of herself in him. She didn't want to upset her parents so she always studied her best, she didn't like disappointing her group mates so she never said no when they gave her a job to do. She knew Arthur was already busy and worried with his own problems so even when he asked all she did was smile and told him everything was okay. 

[Name] wondered if it really was the same case with Aiden Jackson, who so far seemed to have everything going for him.

"Look at what I did" Ms. Abigail clasped her hands together "I've ruined the mood, as an apology please accept these" She produced several pieces of paper from her purse. She handed them each two papers. 

Upon closer inspection, [Name] realized they were concert tickets.

"With VIP access." Ms. Abigail twirled a lock of copper hair "They're supposed to be for Aiden's friends but he never gives them to anybody" 

If memory serves, [Name] found from her earlier internet surfing that a ticket to an Aiden Jackson concert cost a fortune "But we can't—"

"OHMIGOSH! Thank you, Ms. Abigail. Thank you sooooo much!" Laura and Feliks were almost on the verge of tears.

"Please" She corrected them with a smile "Call me Abby"

Abby paid for the desserts and left the dinner first. 

"She seems like a nice lady. Do you think she's married? She looks young but she gave off a cool aunt vibe" 

"I didn't see a wedding ring"

"Well, whatever." Feliks tossed his fists up in the air "She's awesome! I've been dying to see Aiden Jackson since he came to the world a year ago."

"'Came to the world'? Who the hell talks like that?" 

[Name] stared at her ticket. Arthur didn't seem too pleased when the other seniors (Stubbles, Albino and Brunette) brought Aiden Jackson into topic, did he perhaps think the rock star was yet another drug addict who slept with every willing fan? What would Arthur think if she was into Aiden Jackson? Would he still smile when he greeted her? 

"Look at this one" Laura pointed her spoon in [Name]'s direction "You're thinking about the Prince again, aren't you?"

Feliks abandoned drooling over his ticket to pounced on [Name]. 

"I saw you two in the cafeteria on my way back from the rest room. You guys looked like you were in your own little world" Feliks teased, "An outsider would think you two were dating and not just, in your words, 'good friends'" 

"Speaking of, this quiet crush of yours has lasted way too long"

"It's been only two months!" Defended [Name], her voice harsh from the heat in her neck.

"Exactly" Laura nodded, scooping the last of her sundae and shoving it in her mouth. "He's going to graduate next year, and you're not the only one who likes him, you know. It won't be long before some other pretty girl, maybe a senior or a freshman or even a  _classmate_ , comes around and confesses. What if he accepts?"

"I know that, but I'm happy the way we are right now." In fiction, it's frustrating when the heroine hesitates. Fans are always yelling from the other side of the fourth wall for the girl and boy to just quit playing tag and tell the truth already. But in real life, it's easier said than done. These are real people, there is no scriptwriter or author who guarantees a happy ending. Right now, in her reality, there was a boy who was too good to be real, and she knew that not every girl could be the heroine. 

"Besides the club, what do else we have in common?" Nothing. "He's a senior, he's the student body president. He's basically perfect and I . . . I don't want to lose what little we already have" 

She didn't want to be just another lowerclassman or club member, but if she can be the closer to him, even without being his girlfriend . . . 

"I'm satisfied." She told them with a smile. 

*******

Thanks to traffic, [Name] arrived home around eight p.m. After reassuring her mom that she already ate, she swiftly washed and changed into a loose-fitting t-shirt and cotton pants.

As with every night, she resisted the urge to jump into bed when she got into her room.  _Only one more hour, only one more hour, give it one hour._  She comforted herself with the knowledge of finishing the tally for her team's research study this afternoon and that she only had one assignment to do tonight, which would only take an hour at most. She didn't get a wink's sleep yesterday so she was more than happy to start with this assignment and get some well-deserved rest.

She sat herself in front of her computer and opened her class' group page to see if there were any announcements. There were none. [Name] mentally sighed with relief, stretched and then started her biology homework.

An hour at most, she repeated, picking up her pen.

A few minutes after starting, [Name] glanced over to her phone. She didn't get to thank Arthur properly for the lunch. She owed him big time for that. 

Oh! She should be focusing on her homework right now, besides, he did say his phone battery died. She'll do it later.

She looked away and returned to the first item. 

  1. _A malignant tumor is an abnormal mass of tissue that is surrounded by a capsule of connective tissue and that usually remains at the site where it forms. True or false?_



[Name] stopped tapping the pen on the paper. Then again . . . that was hours ago. Who would leave their phone intentionally uncharged for so long? 

She shook her head. She needed to finish her homework!

She scribbled like mad (thank goodness her teacher already discussed this with them) and answered all thirty items with fifteen minutes to spare. [Name] tidied her desk, switched off the lights and dashed for her bed. 

Lying on her back, she held the phone and typed. 

 _Dear Arthur_ —no, this wasn't a letter.

 _Hey, Arthur_ —too casual.

 _Arthur_ —not enough.

[Name] glared at her phone; texting her crush was harder than she thought. Sure she messaged him before, but that had reasonable context concerning their club, this time sending a thank you so late at night for a free lunch was too weird. It felt like she was making an excuse to contact him. 

 _Maybe because you are,_  said a tiny part of her, whom she shut off immediately with cheeks flaring. 

She took a deep breath.  _I can do this._

      Hi Arthur,

      It's [Name]. It's a little late but I wanted to thank you for getting me lunch today. I actually forgot to eat breakfast so you saved me there. Hahaha. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. Thanks again.

She stared at the text for a while. 

Then she yelped inwardly.  _"It's [Name]"? Surely, he has contact ID! What's the point in telling him I didn't eat breakfast? "Hahaha"? What the heck?_ She rolled over the sheets like a mad man. When she stopped she saw that she made a fatal mistake.

 _Message sent;_  her phone glowed dimly in the darkness. 

She gasped in horror. IT SENT. 

She buried her face in the pillow. No. Freaking. Way. Please be a bad dream. A minute passed. Then two more, and another five more. She realized that he wasn't replying.

[Name] checked the message board. Yes, he definitely wasn't replying. 

Shoulders quivered and she collapsed back onto the pillows. 

It was so over. 

Nonetheless, she kept her phone tucked to her chest as she waited for a text message from Arthur. But it never came, and she soon fell asleep.

[Name] woke up startled but drained, her brain and body were not used to sleeping a second earlier than two a.m. Her phone was still in her hand. When she hit the power button to check the time she found three text messages. All were from Arthur.

"It was nothing." Received at 9:07 p.m.

"I enjoyed your company. But you seemed tired today, don't skip on meals when you're already missing sleep" Received at 9:10 p.m.

And the most recent message, received at 12:00 a.m., "Good night, [Name]" 

There were no words in the English language that could possibly come close in describing the sweet euphoria that made her entire body flush and light. 

She rose and sat and texted "Good night, Arthur" To her surprise, he replied to her, and almost instantly too.

 **Arthur:** You’re still up?

 **You:** I just woke up. I fell asleep earlier than usual. What about you?

 **Arthur:** Studying. Oxford entrance exams are next month.

He was so diligent, her inner geek fanned herself.

 **You:** I see. You’re working hard :-D But just like you said, rest and recharge.

 **Arthur:** Ha-ha I’m not a robot. I sleep six hours every night.

 **You:** Liar.

 **Arthur:** It’s true.

 **You:** What’s your secret then?

_Hey Arthur. I think I’m the happiest when I’m with you. Even when you’re far away, being able to text you like this makes me very special. Am I the only girl you would text like this so late at night?_

Arthur: I live close to the school.

You: LOL that’s cheating.  

Arthur: You just feel bad because you live an hour away.

_Hey Arthur, right now . . . are you smiling like I am?_


	4. The Prince

****"And once again, congratulations Mr. Kirkland for getting a 49 out of last week's 50-item test"

The rest of the class gave a loud applaud as Arthur rose from his seat to retrieve his test paper from the teacher. He studied all the materials every night and spent an entire Saturday locked in the library so it felt only natural to get a good grade.

"One mistake in a physics test, you must feel proud" Jason Jones snatched the paper from him once the lunch bell rang.

"Don't patronize me. You got a 48"

"Yeah, I've been slacking lately" Jason agreed with a smirk and then handed him back his test, "I've been helping Ronnie with her assignments so I don't have enough time to study"

Arthur huffed and gently slid the paper inside his green expanding envelope "I didn't ask you anything"

"I know, but you're thinking about it, I can tell. You've noticed it too, right? The number of students collapsing and getting sent to the clinic. It's almost the end of the first quarter and everyone's at their wits ends—that includes the juniors"

"I'm the student council president, it's my job to notice. However, everyone has their own cross to bear. They need to tough it out if they want to survive the real world. It's more difficult once you got a job" Arthur felt bad for saying it, but what can he do? He couldn't hold everybody's hand. He couldn't tell the faculty to stop with the extra work. As president, the best he could do was give advice.

Jason stayed silent for a while. With a chuckle, he smacked Arthur on the shoulder "Whatever, man" he crossed his arms behind his head "Have fun at lunch."

Before Arthur could question what he meant, Jason swung his head towards the door. [Name] stood on the other side, the shape of her skull and flow of her hair completely recognizable through the tiny, rectangular glass window.

Jason laughed as Arthur dashed to the door. He called out to her.

Startled, as though she didn't expect him at all, [Name]'s shoulders spiked and she spun around to reveal red cheeks. "Arthur! I mean, good morning. I'm sorry for coming here unannounced." She spoke too fast, her face now turned blue.

However, as Arthur tried to calm her down, Elizabeta appeared from behind him "My, my. Mr. Prez has another visitor? And so early in the morning, too."

[Name] bit her lip.

"Why isn't it [Name] from the other day" Gilbert magically manifested beside Arthur "If you're here for Arthur then let me give you a tip: don't bother. This guy's an ice cube, he rejects every girl that confesses so spare yourself the trouble and just date me."

Elizabeta scoffed "You? Please, she'd be better off alone"

These two would end up fighting again, and then soon enough all eyes would be on them. Arthur grabbed [Name] by the hand and tugged her out of the room, "Let's go somewhere private"

"Ah, hey!" Elizabeta moved to run after them, likely curious to meet Arthur's rumored crush. But someone grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Don't be a party-pooper" Gilbert grinned, "I'm sure those two need some alone time"

The two ended up in the student council lounge, empty of other members as only Arthur and the principal had keys.

He decided against locking the door so as to not scare [Name].

He gestured towards the sofa "Take a seat. Want some water?"

[Name] stayed on her feet, albeit with much effort; Arthur could tell from the way her entire body heaved with each breath. He shouldn't have forced her to run like that. However, he didn't need his classmates poking around his and [Name]'s business.

"Water, yes—ah, wait!" [Name] realized that she was _still_ clinging to his hand and quickly let go.

"Sorry for forcing you to sprint like that, it's just that my classmates are . . . " Meddlesome brats "They tend to be nosy" He went to the mini fridge.

"I understand"

Arthur handed her a bottle of water, "Anyway, what's up?"

"Hm?"

"I mean, surely you didn't wait outside my room just to greet me good morning" He didn't mean to tease her, and as much as he hated to agree with the French frog, Francis was right about a girl blushing; it was a sight to behold. Arthur had to bite his cheek to stop himself from smiling.

"R-right. Actually, a friend suggested that rather than pay you back with money . . . I should make you lunch instead" She pushed a pink lunch box towards him "If you don't like it I promise to get you something from the cafeteria!"

She half-yelled and half-squeaked.

Arthur cleared his throat and took the striped lunch bag "Thank you. I'll be honest, I wasn't aware that you cook. I always worried when I saw you at lunch with just an egg and two dumplings." Not that he was one to talk. Arthur couldn't boil water to save his life.

[Name] turned her head to the window, "Mhm."

"But anyway," He removed the lid "This looks delicious" He said even though he had never seen a dish like this before. It smelled like eggs and garlic, looked edible enough. And oddly familiar.

"Have you eaten?" He placed the container on the coffee table and went to get a spoon from the kitchenette.

"No, I actually had a heavy breakfast, don't worry about me" She didn't have sunken cheeks or tired eyes like the other day so she was definitely telling the truth. "Besides our biology teacher lets us eat during class"

He couldn't blame her for not feeling hungry. The juniors and seniors did have an unusually early lunch break compared to the younger students, it was to avoid overcrowding in the cafeteria.

"If you say so" He sat down and took a bite. Arthur could taste rice, egg, onions, and cauliflower. He was glad, because as sweet as she was for making him lunch he didn't know if he could fake a satisfied expression after a horrible meal. But even if it did taste terrible, Arthur would gladly finish it all.

She fiddled her fingers together "H-how is it?"

He gave her a big smile "Amazing. You're an excellent cook."

Her face steamed "Oh, it's . . . " She gazed down on her shoes " . . . it's no big deal."

"But it feels awkward eating here while you're standing over there watching me"

"Uh, right. Sorry."

"Where are you going?" He laughed "I meant come here and sit next to me"

"No!" She waved her hands frantically, "I mean . . . I still need to collect the survey forms from classes 3-1 and 3-2 for a group project and I should really get going."

Arthur kept a straight face, "Of course. Thank you for the meal. I'll return the container after school."

[Name]'s arms dropped to her sides and she stared at him quietly for a beat. She appeared to be thinking.

"Actually, I have another reason for coming here" She whispered.

Arthur blinked slowly, "All right?"

"Arthur"

"Yes?"

She visibly swallowed. He wished he could do something to help ease her anxiety around him. But she'd always been timid. Arthur's stomach closed. Yes, she was _always_ like that, which meant her reactions towards him were normal.

"Arthur, I wanted to . . . to . . . " She inhaled a big gulp of air, then steadily breathed out before continuing "Would you have lunch with me tomorrow?"

There was a beat. He was expecting a confession.

But again he kept his expression composed.

"Of course"

[Name] beamed and then bowed slightly "Great! I-I'll cook us a big lunch. I gotta go now. Bye!"

He gently waved, watched until the door clicked close behind her.

Arthur glanced at the meal set before him. Was this a normal way of saying thank you with her?

He felt a little less special now.

He finished the lunch, carefully packed away the Tupperware, and returned to his classroom, where he spent the majority of the day actively attempting not to think about [Name]. Soon enough, the dismissal bell rang. All Arthur had never been more grateful for his mother who sent a notice to the school saying he'd be home straight after the last period today. No student council work, no club meeting, no dealing with [Name].

"Had a good lunch break?" Jason leaned on his seat wearing a smug smirk.

Arthur zipped his backpack and slipped it on, "I'll see you tomorrow"

Jason raised an eyebrow, and then lifted his legs on his desk, "Guess not."

 

When Arthur stepped out the front gates of W Academy, a bright yellow sedan was already waiting for him. He sighed and got inside.

"I told you, you didn't have to come and pick me up" He reached for his seatbelt.

His mum made a peace sign "Stop being a _tsundere_. Admit it, you missed mummy coming to school and taking you home."

Arthur's face told her he wasn't impressed, "I'd ask what you just called me but I don't have the energy for that."

"My sons are so cute. Now," both hands grasped the wheel "let's go to the studio."

It had been a while since Arthur rode a car driven by his mother. The moment she hit the accelerator, he remembered why. She was a crazy driver. To his "live free" mother, the highway was an F1 track and she was Michèle Mouton.

They reached the recording company, which would take a cab an hour tops, in twenty-two minutes. Arthur made her promise to let him catch the bus home.

He slipped on his wig and covered his uniform with a black trench coat.

"Let's go"

The recording studio was more of a home to Arthur than his father's Victorian town house. It was warm and full of likeable people, and Arthur didn't have to be on guard (except maybe with the entire double identity situation). After discussing the concert plans with his manager and producer, Arthur spent every hour rehearsing, practicing every step to his dance and singing his soul out.

That was what he loved most about Aiden, playing his guitar and pouring his heart in every word he sang.

For a short time, he managed to feel as though he was where he was meant to be. Such a feeling would never last long, but it was enough for him.

However, when he got back to the Kirkland residence around eight p.m., that ecstasy was crushed within seconds as familiar faces greeted him in the living room.

His three brothers sat around each other. The eldest, Alistair, held a glass of whiskey. The other two were playing cards.

However, it was the tall figure by the fireplace that summoned the shadow on Arthur's face. He swallowed hard and faked a smile.

"Dad. Welcome home."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Elizabeta: Hungary
> 
> Author's note: I wrote this fic for my friend Mich because we were both stressing over exams and PETAs (projects) and I needed to do something to not go crazy. A lot of the Reader's problems here were once our problems so this really hits close to home. 


	5. The Girl

“What happened to your hand?” Feliks pointed at Ronnie’s bandaged fingers.

“You’re gonna love this. Remember how [Name] told Arthur  _she_  made him lunch? After school she came to me begging to be taught how to cook.”

“I thought you didn’t cook” Feliks tried his best not to laugh, his face twitched like it couldn’t decide whether it was going to sneeze or not.

“I don’t. Last night I asked Jason to come over and teach her. But since she and I are both graceful ladies I ended up with hot water on my hand”

Feliks let out a  _ha!_  “[Name] made Arthur lunch?”

“I’m not a complete wreck” [Name] defended.

“Remember to record everything that happens. That’s your payment for getting me injured” Ronnie said as the lunch bell rang.

As their classmates filed out, Jason appeared with a grande-sized, iced green tea and then put a heart-covered lunchbox on Ronnie’s desk “How’s your hand?”

“Better than it was last night” She patted at the empty chair next to her and Jason took a seat. 

“By the way, [Name],” Jason checked Ronnie’s bandages while she sipped on the tea “Good luck”

“Thanks” [Name] took out the two Tupperware containers and sprinted outside. 

Arthur stopped midway in the hall, eyes big with surprise from her sudden appearance. Clearly he hadn’t expected her to spring out before he could go and greet her in the classroom. 

He smiled “Morning”

“Good morning” She breathed, “As promised, I made you lunch again”

“Thank you. Want to eat on the roof?”

The roof? Where the other seniors and juniors ate; a good number of them being Arthur’s admirers who would talk with him while leaving her out? 

“Um, can’t we eat somewhere else? It’s really sunny today and I burn easily.”

“Right, sorry. How about the garden then? Only a few people ever go there because it’s far from the main building but if you don’t mind—”

“Yeah, that sounds great!” She didn’t want to be selfish but her time was running out.

Just as Arthur said, when they reached the rose garden there was only the gardener and two stray cats. 

Arthur pulled out a seat for [Name] and she set the lunches on the table. 

He wiped his fork and knife with a napkin “Fish and chips?”

“I-I’m sorry. I know they’re kind of plain, but I—” She bit her tongue before she could say “I watch you every chance I get so I know that you order fish and chips whenever it’s on the menu.” She reconstructed her sentence, “I was just in the mood . . . ?” 

“I meant that they’re my favorite” He chuckled.

She’d been feeling insecure about the whole ordeal, but Jason and the girls told her to get pass that feeling. A conversation from last night suddenly rang in her memory.

“Look, he’s a solid guy, occasional pain in my ass aside.” Jason dumped the charred fish fillets in the trash bin by the fridge “But it will be a cold day in hell before he makes a move on anyone, so if you want my advice, just ask him out.”

Then a memory of Laura and the others came.

_“The worst thing that could go wrong is that he says no”_

“Just don’t act too in love with him. Otherwise it’s friendship over.” Feliks helpfully added.

 _Thank you for the support!_  [Name] cursed her mind and Feliks. Why did she have to remember the worst things with the worst timing?

“So” Arthur finished his food before [Name] could even go halfway with her boiled egg and dumplings, “Prelims are next week, I hope your studying is going well”

“Yes, they are. Thanks. But it’s hard to focus on the harder subjects.” 

His brows furrowed and he urged her to explain.

We’re this close to going on strike. When I wake up at four a.m. every morning my bones are heavy and my eyes are tired from staring at my computer screen too long. I can’t believe I’m actually here having lunch with you when I should be finishing that case report on “severe delirium after amantadine withdrawal.” 

She wanted to tell him that there have been nights when she wanted to cry. But she couldn’t, because if did she wouldn’t be able to pull herself together in time to finish all those assignments and group projects. 

But instead of those things, instead of saying she’d missed meals more than once because of work, [Name] simply smiled. “It’s nothing, I’ll live”

“Yes, but I’m worried” You are? “I’m your senior and president, I want to know if everything is okay with you”

She scolded herself for feeling disappointed. Of course he would be worried. That was just in his nature. 

“Thank you for worrying about me, but I’m fine.”

“If you need help with anything . . . ” Arthur got cut off by the pinging of [Name]’s phone.

“Excuse me” She didn’t want to look rude so she ignored her phone and kept it in her pocket. However, over a dozen more text messages arrived and she had no choice but to open them. 

**Laura**

   10:12 AM

   Girl, I know ur on a date right now but we got a crisis. Txt back.

 

**Laura**

   10:12 AM

   Girl

 

**Laura**

   10:12 AM

   GIRL

 

**Laura**

   10:13 

   Guuuurlllll

[Name] sighed inwardly and promptly texted back,  _What is it?_

**Laura**

   10:13 

   Thank god! We ran into Ms. Beilschmidt nd the production deadline was moved up

 

**Laura**

   10:14 

   This Friday

 

[Name] nearly threw her phone down the ground. This Friday. “Son of a—” They had until Friday, which meant her entire class had only three days to prepare. They didn’t even have a proper choreography yet!

Mother of crap. 

[Name] dug her hand in her scalp. Now she  _really_  felt like crying.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur stood. “And don’t say it’s nothing”

She hesitated, but figured if she was going panic might as well do it now. “It’s this production—class project. I’m part of the costume committee and we still haven’t decided on what the dancers are going to where.” 

More pinging, more bad news. The head of the costume committee apparently already came up with a design on her own, sent a photo, and then asked her to pick up a list of materials they’ll need after classes, which for them ended at six-thirty. Her house was three miles away, but with the traffic she wouldn’t be able to reach home until ten. Once again there wasn’t going to be sleep for her tonight. The only good thing about this week was the time with Arthur and how extracurricular activities (clubs) were put on hold until after prelims. 

She glared at the texts. It wasn’t that she was particularly mad with her teacher or classmates, she was just so sick of not having enough time. 

“Give me a minute” Arthur moved away from the table and made a call. 

When he returned he calmly put the lid back on his Tupperware, his kind smile did wonders to her flaming nerves. Then, with only a few words, she felt her worries egg a bit. 

“I’m free later”

*******

“Graphing paper, scissors, glue, brushes, felt paper, silk, pencils, sewing kit, and snacks.” Arthur exhaled and then carried two of the bags inside the main building’s elevator “That’s all of it, I’ve double checked.”

“Thank you again” [Name] rubbed her palms together and covered her nose. In this town, days were hot while evenings were chilled breezes, “You saved me. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have finished shopping as fast if you weren’t with me. I probably wouldn’t have saved so much either” He knew where to get cheap materials without sacrificing quality. As with his soccer and studies, Arthur knew how to bargain and buy better than [Name].

“I used to be treasurer when I was a junior so I had to be good with these kinds of things.” 

She giggled “You  _are_  a genius.”

“Nah. I’m just experienced.”

“Either way you’re amazing. Ah.” Did she just say that? “I mean . . . you’re so put together all the time and composed and dependable” And sweet and thoughtful and perfect. “And I really . . . ” She trailed off.  _I really like you._

For a full moment, only the elevator’s low humming could be heard. 

[Name] recalled her friends and their frequent persuading for her to hurry. For some reason she was feeling brave. Perhaps her raw nerves from earlier had numbed her fear and shame.

“Hey, Arthur?”

His eyes steadied on her.

 _I’m satisfied,_ she remembered saying to the girls, but was she really? [Name]’s mouth was dry, “I—”

The elevator opened. Ronnie stood outside with her phone in her bandaged hand. Relief washed over her face and she quickly spoke through the phone, “Yeah, she’s here.” She hung up and took the bags from Arthur, “Thanks for the trouble. C’mon, [Name].” 

Arthur nodded at Ronnie and then turned to [Name], “Guess this is it”

“Mhm” She pulled her fingers “Take care on your way home.”

“I will.”

“ . . . Bye”

The doors slowly slid close. His eyes seemed upset to her. “Bye, [Name]”

Once the elevator moved down, [Name] jogged to keep up with Ronnie.

“Well,” she grinned “That was awkward.”

“Please don’t” [Name] groaned. 

As they stepped inside the room her phone pinged. It was Arthur.

Good luck. Tell everyone not to overdo it.

[Name] covered her mouth. Hopefully, no one would notice her smile. Once again, her frustrations vanished from such simple words from him. It was nice to be infatuated.

A second text came.

I had fun today. 

Text me when you’re done.

I’ll take you home.

*******

By the time the committee head decided to stop today’s preparation at nine p.m., everyone was drained. [Name], though as exhausted as the rest, was a little excited. However, when she took out her phone she froze and realized something: Arthur’s offer was hours ago.

Feliks and the others said goodbye and went ahead first. Soon the only one left with [Name] was Ronnie, who was busy typing on her tablet. Probably another fanfiction.

“What’re you still doing here?” 

Ronnie didn’t take her eyes off her screen, “Right back at ‘cha. You live pretty far. Better be on your way.”

“Yeah, b-but . . . ” [Name] didn’t want to tell Ronnie about Arthur’s kind offer. She would get teased for sure. “Your apartment’s literally across the street from the school. It’s already late.”

Ronnie paused, a shadow fell over her face. “I know.” She shivered, “That’s exactly why I don’t want to go home alone! If I go home alone who knows what I’ll see in the elevator!”

“You’re already eighteen.” Jason stood in the doorway in plain clothes and with thick-framed glasses.  _“Double vision,”_  he had explained to a surprised [Name] when he taught her how to cook back in Ronnie’s apartment.

“Thanks for picking me up” Ronnie went to kiss him on the lips and then wrapped her arm around his. It was [Name]’s turn to shiver. In private, these two were  _sickening_. 

“[Name], how about we walk you to the station?” Ronnie slipped on Jason’s jacket, “Or are your parents gonna pick you up?”

“A-actually, I—” Both her mom and dad actually called and asked what time she’d be done at school. During both times she answered everyone was still pretty busy so she told them the truth: she didn’t know. She felt bad for not texting them already, but Arthur . . . 

Jason cocked his head, “Hm. You know, you better not keep him waiting.”

The girls stared at him wide-eyed, “What?”

He laughed “Mr. Prez never went home. He’s on the first floor right now. Guess he didn’t want his girl walking home alone so late.”

Ronnie cackled, but before she could say anything, [Name] grabbed her backpack and headed for the door “I’m not his girl!” But she grinned the entire time she ran.

“Arthur!”

She practically bounced when she reached the last few steps (the school elevator was a slow piece of shit). 

Arthur pushed himself off the wall, pocketed his phone and smiled at [Name]. He was still in his uniform. So what Jason said was true?

“A-Arthur” She coughed. Dammit, she needed to work on her cardio. 

“Hey, hey, slow down. Here” He held out his green water bottle. 

[Name] took it but didn’t drink, “I’m so sorry for taking so long, if I knew it was going to be this late I would’ve called and I-I’m so sorry!”

He was worried now, his hands in the air and hesitating to touch her “It’s all right. Really, I offered. Besides, it’s only natural to help a friend.”

She brushed her hair back, flustered. “I guess it is.”

“And I’m the president, every student is a responsibility.”

She was sure her heart grated at that but [Name] ignored it, the rest of her was too happy right now.

“Ready to go?” His smile was so warm.

She nodded.

As they walked to the bus station the two talked about everything under the sun. The American Revolution,  _Twilight_ , scones, Newton’s Laws, cooking. From the most controversial to the least important, and yet she was never bored. With Arthur, she could listen to him and his “rants” forever. His voice was soothing but his expressions were adorable. Each flick of his lips, every arch of his brows. The cadence of his words. 

She adored them all. 

“It sure has gotten colder” Arthur glanced up at the sky, the clouds have piled over the moon. “I hope it doesn’t rain.”

[Name] recalled earlier how Jason didn’t even hesitate to hand over his jacket to Ronnie.

She reached inside her backpack.

“In case it does, you can have this” She gave him her umbrella “One of the arms are broken but it’s still usable.”

“I’ll take good care of her”

She blinked.

He blushed and turned the other way, “I used to sail when I was younger. My brothers and I referred to a lot of things as she” 

They’ve reached the station. It was her first time to be here so late. There weren’t that many people, but there was one or two dubious homeless men.  _Thank you, Arthur._ “Take care”

“Anytime. But [Name]”

“Yeah?”

He frowned, but that lasted for a split-second. “It’s been a difficult month for everybody, but . . . if you have anymore problems, I’m right here. I’ll help you.”

“I know, I know. President and all, right?” She tried to laugh the heartache away “I should go now. See you—”

“Wait” His hand was on her arm. HOLY SHIT. Should she move? Blink? Speak? 

He beat her to it. “Sure, I’m concerned as president, but you’re . . . ”  _I’m . . . ?_

His eyes seemed to get greener the longer she gazed into them. She often wondered what they hid. He was always warm and sweet, but his eyes always seemed so sad to her.  _What are you thinking right now, Arthur? What do you want to say? Are you perhaps—_

He let go and looked down, “You’re a good friend.”

 _How many times are you going to use that word on me? I’m already in the friend zone . . . But I can never hate you for that._ She clasped her hands together and forced herself to smile,“I see. Thank you, Arthur.” 

“So if you want, I can tutor you”

“Huh?”

“If you don’t mind making overtimes, we can study in the library. Together. Until eight or nine. I’ll take you home every night.”

_I’m jealous._

“And if your assignments become too much, then I’ll help. And if you feel like you just want to get something off your chest, then call me. I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night or during school hours.” His smile was a sunset, sad and lovely at the same time “But promise me one thing, that you’ll never tell me everything is fine when it’s not.”

Her heart hurt more than it should, but she stood by her fake smile and nodded. “Thank you.” I love you.

 _I’m jealous of the person you will fall for._  


	6. The Girl

****The production went without a hitch and Ms. Beilschmidt gave everyone a 40 out of 40. After that, the only major problem were the exams.

Just as promised, Arthur spent two hours with [Name] at the school library every evening. Today was their last session, tomorrow was a Sunday and Arthur insisted that [Name] took that time to unwind and relax her mind for the exam week.

"Top of the morning" Arthur greeted her at the library entrance.

She stopped playing with her ID strap. This was her first time in a while to see him in civilian attire and she spent a full moment taking it all in. Powder blue sweater over a white long-sleeve shirt, folded khaki slacks and loafers. She realized it was a normal thing to wear but . . .

Her hair was held back with a bunny-shaped clip from Forever 21 and a blouse that complimented her figure, however, [Name] suddenly didn't feel right in these casual clothes. He looked like royalty and she felt less than.

"Morning" She bowed her head.

"Seven's pretty early for a Saturday." But he was smiling at her, as always.

"I'm sorry about this, I'm sure you have your own thing to do."

"You need to stop apologizing, it's actually nice that you're so eager to study." Only because it's you; [Name] fell asleep at at four in the morning, like a kid too excited for Christmas morning. Then she woke an hour later and couldn't sleep again.

"I volunteered and you're a fast learner. Not like that little McDonald's . . . " He muttered something under his breath and then held the door "Anyway, shall we?"

They made their way inside, every table they passed was occupied.

"Have you studied, Arthur?" She asked as they signed in for a discussion room.

"Don't worry about me" They went to the stairs, "By tutoring you I'm reviewing the basic concepts for my maths and believe me, once you know the basics the advanced part is just about rearranging what you know."

"If you say so"

He pulled her a seat and put on his reading glasses, "Ready?"

If [Name] was a fast learner, then Arthur was a great teacher. He was patient when she couldn't get the answer after five tries, his tone never patronizing, and not once did he try to fill the silence with cheesy jokes.

"I forgot to ask" Arthur closed the physics textbook.

"Yeah?" [Name] pushed the books into her backpack. Five hours straight and she didn't have a raging headache. Not bad.

"How was the production?"

"Oh!" She beamed, "It went well--great! Our teacher even complimented us for being 'authentic'" She had no idea what that was suppose to mean but it was good so she gladly took it. "Not a lot of us listen to old punk rock songs so thank you for helping us choose the music"

Arthur chuckled, "You're welcome, I love music. Punk and rock happen to be my specialty."

She tilted her head.

He cleared his throat, "M-my mother's a big music lover and I guess I inherited that trait. I kinda wish I inherited more than that."

"What do you mean?" [Name] had ceased packing.

"Mum and dad divorced a few years ago, it was never a compatible match so I was glad because she no longer had dad hovering all the time. She was free, in a sense. It's pretty obvious that she's happier that way." He sighed. She leaned on the table. "Mum's not afraid to speak her mind and she doesn't care what strangers think of her. Odd considering she works in the music industry, but she used to tell all the time 'the people who mind don't matter, the people who matter don't mind.' When I got older I told her not to plagiarize Dr. Seuss" The two of them laughed briefly.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is . . . it'd be nice not to care for once and just . . . just like what I like, you know?"

He turned and at that moment, she caught a glimpse of him, of the Arthur behind the president and valedictorian. She wanted nothing more than to reach for his hand, but before she could blink, his phone vibrated, "Ah. Speak of the Devil. I gotta take this." He walked to a corner in the room and [Name] grabbed her burning face.

This was getting dangerous. Despite what she said to Laura and Feliks and Ronnie and everybody else, she couldn't lie to herself. She chose to stay quiet, hoping that this crush would just fade away like it does with her anime boys, but no. Each day that passed, the more her feelings grew and the more dissatisfied she became. Arthur was too kind to her, and sure, he may be kind to everyone but . . . she couldn't help but feel special. She shouldn't, her mind told her, but her heart was a different story.

"Yes, yes, fine." Arthur shut off his phone and fiddled with his bangs, "Sorry, [Name]. I can't eat with you today. Something came up."

"Don't worry about it. Is everything okay?" He sounded irritated on the phone.

"Yes, my father . . . " He stopped and then looked away.

[Name] rubbed her arm, "You don't have to explain yourself. It's just lunch."

"Still, it feels wrong to cancel like this." They strolled to the stairs. "How about after exams?"

"What?"

"After exams I'll take you to my favorite tearoom. I know you don't like coffee, and a tearoom isn't exactly a place for lunch, but it always helps me relax. But if you--"

"That sounds great!" She could barely contain her smile.

"All right then. My brother is picking me up so I can't walk you to the station." His voice dropped and [Name] swore she heard disappointment.

They reached the first floor.

"I'll be okay. Some of my friends are here, I'll go meet up with them." Laura and Feliks were doing research together. "Thanks again for tutoring me."

"It's no problem." He waved and headed for the exit, "Until next Saturday, [Name]"

[Name] bit her lip, "[Nickname]"

"Beg your pardon?"

She intertwined her fingers, "Call me [Nickname]"

He then reached for her face. [Name] closed her eyes and--and what?

"Dust in your hair"

When she opened her eyes he was abnormally close.

He brushed his fingertips on his slacks. "[Nickname], huh? Sounds fitting."

"Thanks. My family, close friends--they call me [Nickname] and I . . . I guess it just feels right for you to call me [Nickname] too"

"How so?" She could smell roses and rain.

"Because," She couldn't think straight, not with his face and scent overriding her entire nervous system. "In a way, you're kinda like a big brother to me"

Ah.

His entire face seemed to grow--brows high, eyes wide, jaws open. [Name] bit her tongue hard, she should've kept her mouth shut. Her brain to mouth filter always chose the most inopportune moments to malfunction.

He pulled back, bumping into a man who just entered.

"Bloody hell, I've been waiting in the car for five minutes. I told you to wait outside."

Arthur spun around and [Name] looked up. The man's irises were close to Arthur's shade of green, but they were colder, sharper, somehow. He was a head taller than Arthur, though his unruly red hair might have contributed to that.

"Alistair," Arthur breathed. His voice was steady, but [Name] thought it sounded pissed, "I thought Dylan was picking me up."

Alistair shrugged "Change o' plans. Now come on." He gripped Arthur's wrist, causing him to flinch. [Name] didn't know what came over her when she grabbed Arthur's arm.

Both men turned to her, surprised.

"Um," With Alistair glaring at her she realized too late that this wasn't a good idea. Still she stood by her decision, "S-sorry, but he and I aren't done talking."

Alistair stared at her, then he scratched his head. "Haaa. What a pain. Fine. Settle whatever it is you need to settle" He held up two fingers at Arthur, "Two minutes. I'll leave if you don't follow soon."

He took out a box of cigarettes from his coat and went outside.

Arthur sighed, "What unfortunate timing."

"Who was that?"

He glanced down and [Name] jumped back, throwing her hands in the air.

Arthur cleared his throat, "I'm the youngest of four sons and that man was my oldest brother."

That scary man was Arthur's brother? [Name] quivered. Even though they shared the same eyes, she wouldn't have guessed it in a million years.

"O-oh! I'm sorry, it's just that . . . I thought he was . . . trouble or something" She struggled to think of a better excuse, but Arthur shook his head.

"He's not the easiest person to get along with, and he gives off a weird vibe so I don't blame you. Besides, you saved me, even if just for a few minutes. I don't really want to spend anymore time with him than necessary."

They were both quiet.

Arthur fiddled with his hair, "Anyway, he was serious when he said he'd leave me so I should go now. Take care."

"Likewise. And Arthur . . . " [Name] kept her gaze on a crumpled piece of paper on the floor, "I'll text you after exams"

She didn't look at him, but she could sense his warmth as he replied, "All right" He patted her shoulder "I'll be waiting, [Nickname]."

*******

[Name] stood and stared at her phone. She kept rereading last night's chat with Arthur.

 **Arthur:** Good evening. How were the exams?

 **You:** Good evening!I owe you big time. I didn't think I'd survive this year's physics test, but I ended up beating the Big 3! (The Big Three were the three smartest students in her class—they were always expected to come on top)

 **Arthur:** That's great news

 **You:** It's the best news! I don't know how I'll ever repay you.

 **Arthur:** I'm picturing you beaming right now at your grades, that's enough for me. (With this she nearly imploded with unreleased squeals)

 **You** : If you say so. But you really helped me out, Arthur. Thank you. :)

[Name] bit her cheek and checked the time. The agreement was that they meet at the King James' mall, by the fountain, at 9:00 a.m. But she wanted to get him _something_ so she came an hour early. But what do you get someone who had it all? He mentioned loving music, but his mom worked for a music company and he probably grew up surrounded by an impressive collection. He was a massive bookworm . . . which also meant he was a well-seasoned reader who has read everything. She knew he adored Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's _Sherlock Holmes_ , but she also knew he had every edition he wanted.

Well, she could just pay for their tea . . . and she can buy him a new teaset! She had some cash to spare from her anime convention money, and she couldn't think of a better way to spend it. _All right, tea it is!_

[Name]'s phone rang and she picked up immediately, "Hello, Arthur? No, no, you didn't wake me up. I'm actually already at the mall. Huh? Oh, I-I had some errands to run, but that's not important. It's done. I can't wait to—" She suddenly didn't feel right in the stomach, "No, it's okay. Really, it is." She laughed dryly "It's a family emergency, you just worry about that. I'll just . . . I'll go do some window-shopping I guess. Ha-ha. Bye."

_Beep._

[Name] exhaled. So much for that.

"Why the long face?"

"Ronnie?" Her friend wore a terrifying grin.

 _"Ciao!"_ Ronnie seemed awfully chirpy today.

"You're all dressed up today" [Name] took note of the blue tights and ironed curls.

"Thank you"

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Up yours, too" She sang a little too cheerfully. Oh, God. [Name] felt genuinely concerned. Was she drunk? "There's actually a screening of my favorite 80s movie today. You get in free if you dress up as one of the characters."

She made it no secret that she was obsessed with _Heathers_. One glimpse of her clothes and it was easy to tell who she was, "So you decided to go as Veronica Sawyers?"

Ronnie tugged on the hem of her navy blue skirt. "Duh."

"Well, where is he?"

"Hm?"

"It's the end of exams. Obviously, you're here on a date. Where's your Jason Dean?"

"Blew her over. Asshole." Jason had arrived. And [Name] had no words for his getup: a pink sweater over jeans—his black, rectangular frames replaced by silver squares around his eyes.

He bent over to welcome a quick peck from Ronnie. 

[Name] made a point to pause, silently judging them.

She pretended to be in unimpressed shock as she scanned Jason's form from down to up. Never in her life did she expect Jason Jones, of all people, to wear a pastel sweater with a large, white unicorn on the front. Then again, she'd been learning a lot about other humans lately.

"And you are?"

"He's Betty Finn and Martha Dunstock all in one. Well, genderbent" Ronnie intertwined their fingers together, "Jason's my best friend after all"

"Ugh, could you two try not to be so in love in front of me? Or anyone?" It was getting old.

They ignored her and Ronnie giggled as Jason kissed her back.

 _Really old._ "Happy couples should explode."

"Now, now. Don't get mad just 'cause you haven't resolved the non-sexual romantic tension between you and Caterpillar*"

"Don't call him that!" [Name] barked.

Jason snickered and raised his hands, "Sorry, sorry."

"Anyway, why're you here?" Ronnie asked.

"Did our sourpuss president finally crack and asked you out?" Ronnie tugged on Jason's sleeve and he finally shut up, though not without an annoying smirk.

"No . . ." That came out more upset than [Name] intended.

The two sensed that something was wrong. Ronnie spoke up, "You know, the movie doesn't start until ten, wanna join us for breakfast?"

"And be the third wheel that ruins your date? Thanks, Ronnie, but I think I'll just go home."

"[Name]—" She stopped.

Jason groaned, "Oh, Jesus."

[Name] turned around. It was Arthur, dressed in a green polo shirt and white trousers, and he had somebody with him. A lithe, blonde young woman in a green dress that showed off the curves of her figure. She leaned on Arthur, no, she perched on him, snuggling her head on the junction between his neck and shoulder. They were going the other way, oblivious to their three spectators.

"Forget about breakfast. [Name], I'll take you home—"

[Name] refused to face either of them. "You guys go and get your breakfast. I'll be fine."

"[Name]—"

She forced a smile. "I'm fine."

Jason gently led Ronnie away, saying her friend needed to be alone, and once the two were far enough, [Name] sprinted to the nearest comfort room.*

For once, there was no line and all the stalls were unoccupied. She hid in the last stall, slammed the toilet lid close and broke down.

She wasn't sure what she cried about, but she hasn't cried in a while so when she finally let go, the tears just kept on coming. As she sat there, she recalled her first meeting with Arthur.

It was her third day of school and every student was required to join a club. Laura and Feliks joined the home ec club. [Name] wasn't left with many choices. Well, not many that she would enjoy. Sports? Ha! That pretty much reduced her options to half.

She wandered into a random clubroom. There were only two other students there. Two seniors, Feliciano and Lovino Vargas, and they practically pounced on her the moment she stepped inside, _"Welcome, bella!"_ It was the arts club. [Name] didn't think about it too long: kind and attentive members, admiring art and learning more about how to draw and color and paint. It was the perfect club for her. Only problem was that they were still one member short.

That was when he came into the picture.

_"What?"_

_"Please, Arthur!"_

[Name] had been sketching in the clubroom when Arthur knocked to check up on the club. The brothers collapsed to their knees and begged him to join. After what seemed forever of relentless pleading, Arthur capitulated.

Then he noticed her.

"Hello"

"H-hello" [Name] bowed her head and let her hair fall over her face. The rumors were right, he was beautiful.

"May I?" He sat next to her. She moved to cover her drawing but he gently held her hand, "Don't."

"They're not that great."

"I respectfully disagree." He picked up the sketchpad and flipped through them. They were just random illustrations of her friends, family and fictional characters, "They're lovely." He looked at her with that armor-piercing smile and her heart melted. Ever since then, she spent hours doing nothing but draw his face. But she was always disappointed by her work, none could ever do justice to the real thing.

Ever since that day, she had never been the same.*

And now she never will be.

By the time she finished crying, her mind was hazy and her chest was no less heavy. Above all, she was exhausted.

As she left the stall, two women gazed over to her but went back to their own businesses. [Name] checked her phone; she'd been in there for half an hour.

"Ugh" She should just go home, but she was sure she'd be even more depressed lying in her room while her classmates were out and busy celebrating the end of the exams.

Screw it, she thought and then jogged towards the escalator. She passed the tests and survived the semester, she deserved a break from all the drama.

"Welcome" The security guard greeted her as she entered the bookstore. She needed a new sketchpad. Her old one was almost full.

As she stood in line at the counter, someone tapped her shoulder.

It was Stubbles—no, that's not right. It was Arthur's classmate, his name was . . . what was it again?

Oh, right.

Francis.

He held a basketful of cookbooks, "Bonjour"

"Hello"

He cocked his head to one side, "You've been crying."

She covered one eye "Should've worn sunglasses, huh?"

Francis hummed softly. She sniffed several times and when the scent of roses entered her nose, the tears rushed back again.

Francis tried to calm her down and she happily left the store and away from the curious stares. However, when they went to a nearby diner they got the same looks. They probably thought she and Francis were a couple having a fight.

They sat at the back of the room, where [Name] carelessly laid out everything to a man whose name she barely remembers. Well, whatever. He was there to listen.

"So that's what happened," Francis rubbed his temples "That stupid idiot. Tsch." He sighed and then gave her a small smile "Maybe it was just a misunderstanding?"

"Maybe." She bit the straw of her iced tea, "But seeing him with that pretty girl made me realize something. You should've seen them. They were made for each other. She was his Goldilocks."

"His . . . Goldilocks?"

"Yes. That one person who seems to fit you just right."

"I-I see"

"I never stood a chance." She was whining now, which she had no right to do "I'm awkward, my grades are okay but not stellar, I'm not exceptionally good at anything, my looks are tolerable. I—ow!" She glanced at Francis. He had flicked her forehead.

He chuckled. "If that's your problem then the solution's simple"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] Because of the eyebrows. Let's face it, he has thick eyebrows, XD
> 
> [2] Filipino English for restroom or washroom or toilet. We usually call it C.R. I used this instead of its American English equivalent because this story is for a friend who is also a Pinay. Feels more authentic this way hahaha
> 
> [3]Hamilton's "Satisfied" reference!


	7. The Girl

This was ridiculous. She felt ridiculous. [Name] couldn’t believe she let Francis talk her into this. What’s worse was that she was late for first period.

But there was no backing out now, so she gathered all her nerves, took a deep breath, and grabbed the doorknob.

There was a brief pause in the entire room when she entered. Their chemistry teacher adjusted his glasses. Ronnie dropped her pencil. Feliks whispered something into Laura’s ear and they grinned at [Name]. Then the rest of her classmates whistled and applauded. _Beautiful_ , she groaned and shimmied through the narrow aisles between the rows of chairs. Upon reaching her seat, Laura leaned in, “Nice.”

[Name] gritted her teeth and bent her elbows on the table, “I get it, I look weird. Can we please focus on the lesson?”

She never told anyone about what happened to anyone and Ronnie had kept quiet, but Laura was at the mall that Saturday and even took a picture of Arthur with some girl.

“Au contraire, heartbreak looks great on you.” She laughed at her own joke, but turned back to the whiteboard.

For the next two hours, [Name], along with everybody else, concentrated on stoichiometry and then the characteristics of cancer, but soon enough the lunch bell rang and her friends flocked around her before she could escape.

“Okay, spill.” They demanded.

“It’s nothing, I just thought . . . ” [Name] slapped their hands away from her hair “I-I just thought a change would be nice.”

“Real talk,” Laura crossed her arms “In the past months that we’ve been coming to school together, attending classes together, eating at McDonald’s* together, this is our first time seeing you with makeup on.”

“Speaking of, awesome lipstick, what color is it?”

[Name] touched her mouth, she wasn’t sure if this was lipstick or some lip tint. “I don’t know” She recalled how Francis went to her place that Saturday and spent the entire afternoon helping her with her new appearance. And after a long debate, he’d convinced her to go to a trusted hair salon.

She wasn’t against putting effort to look nice, but the change for her was so forced and immediate, it didn’t feel right. Like she was somebody else entirely. Maybe she just needed time to adjust.

Laura leaned on the table, “So . . . ”

“So?”

“Any amusing anecdotes to share?”

“I have no idea what you mean.” [Name] turned away.

“Don’t even try to hide it. Is this sudden change some sort of coping mechanism? Your very own ‘fuck you’ to the glorious Kirkland?”

Feliks grinned “Don’t worry, this is a good thing.”

Laura raised her eyebrows. Feliks rolled his eyes “Think about it, she can finally let go, and when she lets go then she can move on, maybe back to fictional men like the rest of us.”

“Now wait just a minute, are you saying that she shouldn’t be allowed to crush on a real guy because he’s a real guy?”

“No, I’m saying that she isn’t the first girl to fall for his tender and gentle prince facade”

“What makes you so sure that it’s a facade? He’s been nothing but nice to all of us”

“I’m just saying—” [Name] growled. Knowing her friends, this was going to be one of those there-is-no-forever-fuck-you-yes-there-is arguments.

“Guys” [Name] raised her head “Could you not talk like I’m not here?”

“Right, right. Sorry” Feliks pulled her from her chair and to her feet “No point in sulking about it. Let’s go eat at the cafeteria.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.” [Name] didn’t want to risk running into Arthur.

And she didn’t. She stayed inside the classroom every break and vacant period they got.

Just her luck that that frappe from Ronnie got to her before dismissal.

She raised her arm and made an L with her fingers.

Mr. Honda paused, nodded in acknowledgement, and then returned to the lesson. [Name] grabbed her pack of Kleenex and silently got up. When she exited the room there was nobody else in the hallway, and she couldn’t help but sigh in relief. She had, during a moment of weakness, blocked Arthur’s number and hadn’t been able to talk to him since that Saturday. He had sent her messages online but she ignored them all, too scared of what she might say. In other words, she was being a coward.

After she washed her hands she glanced at the mirror. Her hair was permed and dyed—nothing too bold and bright like pink or green, it was close enough to her original hair color to not receive a teacher’s wrath (it was against school rules to dye the hair an “unnatural” color), but someone who knew her long enough would be stunned by the change. Her makeup wasn’t anything special, just some color here and there and concealer for her eyebags.

She had read somewhere that makeup was supposed to help with self-esteem, but right now it felt too forced. This wasn’t her.

Her conversation with Francis rang inside her head.

“You like him, that much is obvious, but you don’t make an effort to let him know.” Francis gave her an unopened pocket pack of Kleenex.

[Name] gingerly took the tissues “I told you, I . . . I don’t plan or expect to date him.”

“Does that mean you shouldn’t try and impress him?”

She didn’t say anything.

“I think it’s nice the way you love him—”

“I-I don’t love him!”

He ignored her and continued, “You love him because you love him, you don’t expect reciprocation. That’s a secret not everybody knows. But don’t torture yourself like this, nothing breaks my heart more than a person who thinks they don’t deserve to have standards.” He dramatically touched his chest, “We all deserve to be happy, even my grouchy childhood friend.” He chuckled and leaned closer, “Listen, I’ve known Arthur since diapers. He hates me for it because I know him like I know my own mind*, we’re practically twin brothers, except I’m the more charming and handsome and tasteful one—don’t tell him I said that”

She snorted.

“See how beautiful you are when you smile? Let that idiot see it too.” It was amazing how he can say these embarrassing things so easily.

“Thanks, but wouldn’t it be better if he thinks I’m beautiful regardless?”

Francis nearly spat out his pasta on the diner table as he burst out laughing “You’re, how do you say, _saucier_ than you let on.” He chugged down the rest of his lemon water and then wiped his mouth with the back of his palm “But Arthur’s an idiot who is prone to miscommunication. Let me help you.” He grabbed her shoulders.

She blushed, “I-I don’t know”

“If there is a chance of you and my moronic friend getting together then bless me with the honor of being the man who orchestrated it all. I love playing Cupid.”

[Name] almost laughed at the memory.

She stared at her reflection and then gave it a sad smile, “Ridiculous” Like those guys in anime who fall in love with their rapists.

She threw away the empty tissue pack and pushed the door. She froze. Outside was a passing Arthur. Crap.

He was as surprised as she was, his eyes wide as he scanned her face.

“A-Arthur” Her fingers itched to cover her face for some reason. Embarrassment? Would he even notice the difference?

“[Name] . . . ”

Her heart sank. It felt bad to be called [Name] again after she practically gave him permission to use Audrey.

His eyes shone for a split-second, but then they dimmed with disapproval. She wanted to hide.

“You dyed your hair” Of course. He was Arthur Kirkland. Apparently (according to Laura) hair dyes were frowned upon by his family. It was a horrible idea to take Francis’ advice.

“Someone said it’d look nice on me, but now I don’t know.” She forced an awkward chuckle, unable to meet his gaze, “D-does it look weird?”

Before Arthur could reply, a teacher appeared and dragged him away, leaving [Name] to silently boil with anxiety.

*******

Seven p.m., Friday night, and instead of enjoying the confines of her room, [Name] stood sandwiched between Feliks and a teenager with too many ear piercings. While her friends were dressed in ripped jeans and A.J. t-shirts, thick mascara and faint glitter on their skin, [Name] had stuffed her hair in a worn-out beanie and stuck with a thin sweater and a regular pair of skinny jeans. She made no effort to hide the bags under her eyes.

Ever since the C.R. incident, [Name] had cut off all contacts with Arthur in fear of further humiliation. Her friends spent the entire week trying to cheer her up after her “fall out” with Arthur. She’d been quieter, crankier, and all-in-all not the best company to have.

But she had free tickets and friends whose efforts she couldn’t ignore.

Now here she was, struggling to find a good spot to watch Aiden Jackson, the Prince of Punk Rock, globally popular but whose music she’d never heard before.

They waited for what seemed like an hour, the fans shouted over each other as they squealed over their favorite songs.

That made [Name] wonder.

She tapped Feliks’ shoulder, “What does he sing about?”

Feliks’ mouth twisted and he shouted “What?”

“What does he sing about?”

Feliks shook his head and leaned a little closer “WHAT?”

[Name] took a deep breath, “WHAT DOES HE SING ABOUT?”

Two girls beside her glanced over to them, the one with the green hair whispered something to her friend and they giggled together. [Name] rolled her eyes.

“You’re going to find out soon.” Feliks motioned towards the stage. The stadium drowned in darkness as distant guitar strumming filled the air, effectively silencing the crowd. Fog flooded the stage, a pink pool of smoke thanks to the red luminaires.

The guitar suddenly roared and the fans screamed as drums pounded. Feliks’ cheering was the loudest, and he clung to [Name] as he jumped up and down, but [Name] didn’t even notice. She could see his silhouette against the ruby light. Slowly, the smoke thinned. The music boomed louder. In an instant, she understood the fascination.

She only met him once in person, but he fleeted before she could get a good glimpse of him. She only remembered his fiery hair. He stood on the that stage with a studded jacket and combat boots. He reminded her of her first impression of Jason Jones: motorbikes and tattoos wrapped with a killer smile. He was bad news in a deliciously tempting human form.

“OH MY GOD, [NAME]. OHMYGAWD!”

“Jeez, breath, will you?” [Name] laughed at her friends and then returned to the prince.

The mic feedbacked and A.J. greeted his fans. He had a Middle American accent.

“For my first song, I dedicate to all you music lovers out there. Never change.”  Everybody screamed again. He grinned and turned to the rest of his band. They nodded.

A.J. positioned his guitar, “One, two, three, four!”

Yes, she definitely saw what all the hype was about. His voice was smooth, his playing amazing. His words were inspiring. Half of his songs were allegorical, from existentialism to world peace to drugs and so much more. The other half was more about life as a teenager. Midway through his first song, [Name] began to cheer too, but it was his last piece that really got to her.

A.J. laughed at the mic, flicking his head to get rid of the sweat-soaked locks from his eyes, cue the thousand squeals.

“Thank you, everyone! I . . . I really appreciate you all for coming here because you see, I need your support more than ever.” Smile. Swoon.

“Recently, I had my heart broken” More squealing, some aw-d “And I actually wrote a new song just last night.” More applause.

“This is one of my most personal songs yet so . . . I hope you like it.” A.J. sat on the wooden stool the staff snuck in through the fog.

Feliks was barely lucid by now, and the rose-haired girl from before was biting on her lip so hard it hurt to look.

 

_*Every time I want to let out my feelings_

_It always seems like it’s not the right time for healing_

_So I bury them deep down inside_

_Hoping for a chance for it to be amplified_

_But after a long time, they come back to me_

_Haunting me in my sleep and I’m left to drown in the sea_

_Thinking of what I should have happened and what might_

_So tonight, I hope you get what I’d write_

[Name] watched him strum his guitar, his shoulders as they shifted with every chord, his mouth and his eyes as sang the words. She felt something wet on her cheek and saw that she’d been crying quietly.

 

_The aching in my chest isn’t because I miss you_

_It’s realizing you’ve become someone I no longer knew_

_Your irrational fears, your 4am thoughts_

_Our achievements are one thing I no longer sought_

She watched his lips quiver at the lines. _Must be some girl_ , she pictured the kind of girl who could’ve broken this guy’s heart. Wild haircut, extreme hair dye, chains and piercings and an all-black ensemble. She wondered if he was even into girls.

 

_I guess this is where I draw the line_

_Goodbye, and this is also where I decline_

_Decline of the hope that we'll return like we used to_

_Don't worry much about me, I will break through_

_Whoever it is_ , she watched A.J.’s face, seeing herself in him and his song, she thought, _he really loves them._

She gasped.

Was it just her imagination, or did Aiden Jackson glanced at _her_?

 

The concert finished with that song and [Name] bade goodbye to her friends. She sent her mother a text message and then went to get a bottle of water.

When she went outside, her mother still hasn’t replied so she tried her dad. No luck. [Name] sighed and checked the time. 11:12 p.m.

She decided to pass the time counting the green cars that leave the parking lot. Her third one was the last car in sight.

11:22 p.m. Neither of her had parents checked up on her, and she couldn’t call them because she didn’t have enough load.

Like an army of maggots, worry gnawed at her insides. Did something happen? God, please no.

She fiddled with her phone, unaware of the footsteps behind her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” [Name] jumped.

There was a loud thump, followed by a groan.

She gawked.

It was him. Aiden Jackson. And he was pining a man down on the ground!

“Y-y-y-y-you’re—”

His sight never left the skinny man beneath him. She recognized that arm lock. Holy shit, Aiden Jackson knew aikido.

“I was out for some air when I saw you. This wanker was creeping up on you.”

[Name] tilted her head, “wanker”?

“Go to sleep” A.J. lifted his arm and hit the pressure point on the nape. The man went limp.

A.J. proceeded to remove his ascot and tie the man’s wrists and ankles together. He typed something into his smartphone. “Security will deal with him”

“Oh, wow. I-I mean, thank you!” She bowed, “I didn’t even see him.”

A.J. crossed his arms, “The concert ended an hour ago, you know. Why’re you still here?”

“My parents—oh.” An incoming call from her mother “Sorry, hold on.”

[Name] walked away, “Hello? Mom, yes, I’m okay. I’m still here. What? A flat tyre? Well, how long is it going to take? I guess I don’t have a choice. Sure, I’ll wait. Take care.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She put away her phone, “It’s just that my parents had a little incident with the car and it might take them a while” Her voice shrunk with realization. She could be stuck here for hours.

But fifteen minutes passed and A.J. was still there. She shuffled her feet uncomfortably. At some point she sneezed and nearly squeaked when heavy fabric touch her shoulders. The scent of roses and rain enveloped her.

“Um” She distracted herself, keeping her line of sight on anywhere but him and his _tight_ black shirt.

“Keep it until your parents come” He grumbled, “What baffles me is that you know it’s cold so why didn’t you bring one in the first place.”

His accent seemed lighter than it was earlier, and when she heard him say “baffles” she smiled.

“What?”

She blushed, “Sorry. I just . . . I only know one other person who would use ‘baffles’ instead of confuses.”

A.J. examined her face closely, “Have you been crying?”

“Oh” Her fingers softly patted the swollen spot beneath her eyes “Your last song really got to me. The way you sang was really awesome, it was like watching someone sing my own heartbreak.”

“Are you all right?”

“I’m getting there”

He waited patiently for her to continue.

“This feels weird, talking to a rockstar about my nonexistent love life . . . There’s this guy, and he’s sweet and kind and generous and . . . well, I guess I shouldn’t have had my hopes up.” First Francis, now Aiden Jackson. Her friends were right, she needed to let go.

“What do you mean?”

Heavy clouds gathered in the sky and blocked what few stars they could see. She exhaled. “I saw him with someone else.” She gave the gravel a light kick, “But it’s not his fault, I’m all to blame, I mean I—” She glanced at him. His silver blue eyes narrowed and the hair on her skin prickled. His eyes were unnaturally cold.

“Sounds like a wan—I mean, a real stud.” He said. [Name] almost laughed at the sarcastic drip of his tongue.

“He’s not bad at all. I just missed my chances and he found someone worth his time.”

“You must really like this guy.”

“It’d be a bigger mystery if I didn’t. He’s every girl’s fantasy.”

“Including you . . . ”

[Name] barely noticed the sorrow in his tone. She nodded, “I think _especially_ me.”

“If you ask me, maybe you shouldn’t focus on him too much . . . Maybe there’s someone else . . . someone better for you.” She didn’t notice how pale he was until she saw the rose tint on his cheeks.

“Maybe you’re right.”

The prince said nothing else, and they stayed like that for another half hour until a familiar car rolled into view and [Name] returned A.J. his jacket.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah” He didn’t meet her stare, he barely moved to grab the leather. He was upset.

But [Name] couldn’t exactly stay around, so she gave him a small, apologetic smile and then ran to her parents.

That night, she unblocked Arthur after deleting all his messages (and her screenshots of them). That night, she didn’t lie awake thinking about him and what could have been.

That night she slept, and no, she didn’t dream about his intelligent eyes or mop of blonde hair.

That night she finally breathed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1]Another inside joke between my friend and I. We’re basically college students so fast food is a staple for breakfast, lunch and supper. (EHMAHGAWD, McDonald pancakes!)
> 
> [2]Heathersand Hamiltonreferences!!!
> 
> [3]DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a song,these are actually lines from “We Were Real” a poem by another friend of mine, Draconian. Of course, she gave me permission to borrow some of the lines for A.J.’s song. Below is the entire poem.
> 
>  
> 
> We Were Real
> 
> By: Draconian
> 
>  
> 
> Every time I want to let out my feelings
> 
> It always seems like it’s not the right time for healing
> 
> So I bury them deep down inside
> 
> Hoping for a chance for it to be amplified.
> 
>  
> 
> But after a long time, they come back to me
> 
> Haunting me in my sleep and I’m left to drown in the sea
> 
> Thinking of what should have happened and what might
> 
> So tonight, I hope you get what I’d write
> 
>  
> 
> I will not romanticize the way you ended everything we had
> 
> I don’t even know if I should even be glad
> 
> Because you were my poison but also my remedy
> 
> In this life full of cruelty and ecstasy
> 
>  
> 
> The ring on your finger is jut a mere penumbra
> 
> I’ve tried so hard to turn my heart into a tundra
> 
> But the thought of you in the arms of another still lingers
> 
> And what hurts the most is that I wasn’t the one to put the ring on your finger
> 
>  
> 
> The aching in my chest isn’t because I miss you
> 
> It’s realizing you’ve become someone I no longer knew
> 
> Your irrational fears, your 4am thoughts
> 
> Our achievements are one thing I no longer sought
> 
>  
> 
> In the street, as I gazed at the rainy heavens
> 
> I remembered the sins you committed that came in sevens
> 
> One, when you said we had to hide our love
> 
> Two, you ensured me that nothing would come above
> 
> Three, your “I love you” was a lie, it lacked “I love you both”
> 
> Four, you broke your oath
> 
> Five, you made me hide in the closet so you wouldn’t get caught
> 
> Six, you made me look like the insane crackpot
> 
> Seven, the worst one of all; you made me fall in love with you
> 
> Come to think of it, I just made a few
> 
>  
> 
> In the past, you asked me how much I love you
> 
> And I said “from here” and you grew askew
> 
> And now after 6 months since we ended
> 
> I left a note saying “to here” and then you finally comprehended
> 
>  
> 
> I never asked for the stars, I only asked for you to be truly mine
> 
> But in the eyes of society it was the most grievous crime
> 
> I fear, I’ll never get to tell you how you really made me feel
> 
> At least all I could be proud of was that we were real
> 
>  
> 
> I guess this is where I draw the line
> 
> Goodbye, and this is also where I decline
> 
> Decline of the hope that we'll return like we used to
> 
> Don't worry much about me, I will break through


End file.
